Please enjoy this fancy document that uses lots of big words to describe some of my work history. For Microsoft Word, click the download button next to the file that claims to be a .docx file. For a PDF, click the button next to the PDF file. For the version that shows what I will accomplish over the next 35 years, simply download either file and rename it to add the suffix “.autobiography.Dec03.2055”. If for some reason this doesn’t work, please switch browsers to internet explorer ’07 and try again. If that still doesn’t work, please contact us using the form on the home page and our dev team will get back to you as soon as they can. However, we should warn you that the dev team has projects booked out for the next 35 years. Once they’re available, they will send you a framed document detailing all of my accomplishments as well as a signed hardback copy (which we’ve bet a lot of money will be extremely valuable in 2055) of my autobiography. Thank you.